Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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