Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
