She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think a kid would responsible me up
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
