So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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