I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
