a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
