What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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