i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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