I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
