so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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