they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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