Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
