I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
