I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
