Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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