Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize