Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
