It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
