I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize