did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize