she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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