I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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