Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
