My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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