I'm pants shitting drunk right now
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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