Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
