; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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