I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
