he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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