Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
