She is in my trunk
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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