how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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