Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I could make wine with my vomit
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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