I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
