i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
