Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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