I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize