she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
