So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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