I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
