i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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