i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
