I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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