Acid is not a monday night drug
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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