But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
