I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
