I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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