Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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