HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
