I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
