Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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