I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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