I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize