don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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