No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
