she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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