If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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