:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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