Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
