We named our party play list daddy issues
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think i have two assholes
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
And then he peed in my hair
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