i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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